Writing learning story

Brooklyn’s Writing Learning story

The Problem:  

How do I retell a significant event so others can share my experience?

My recount:  (copy and paste your recount here)

Monday 29th January In the (2017) Christmas holidays my whole family except my uncle Siva went to Whitireia park. (Whitireia park is near Titahi Bay beach). Me my uncle Justus my dad Tom and my brother Lockie saw a dead seal. It was lying on the rocks and it looked like someone had killed it because its tail was almost off it. I felt really sad that the seal was dead. my uncle was in Auckland that's why he did not come. Whitireia park is near Titahi Bay. My uncle didn’t come because he said he didn’t want to come. Before we had lunch I went kayaking.  It was funny because I kept on tipping out. Then I got the hang of it. You just have to lean forward and don’t lean sideways. I felt proud of myself when I got the hang of it. (we got there by car).

Success criteria: (highlight the success criteria your writing shows)

I can use-

• A powerful hook to get the reader’s attention
• Where, when and who in the introduction to set the scene
• An introduction- middle- conclusion
• The 5 W’s (where, when, why, who, what,) and 1 H (how) to add detail
• Dialogue to tell what happened
• The past tense
• Descriptive words to make the writing interesting
• Precise words to let the reader know what exactly happened.
• Connectives to make the story flow from one group of ideas to another.
• Punctuation to help the reader understand the ideas
• A personal voice like I think….

My Learning:  (Choose 2 to write about)

I was good at revising because before when I did not revise it did not make sense and some words weren't spelled properly.   I got better at adding punctuation because I never put full stops and capital letters then when I checked it again I saw there were no full stops and capital letters then I added full stops and capital letters. I used the key competency of  managing self as learning power because I didn’t get distracted and I managed myself.   I needed to use the key competency of teamwork as learning power because we could get our work done faster. Jonathan thinks I am good at using descriptive words because it’s describing what you did.